tis the season

I feel sorry for the people who dont feel the way I do today. Its nearly time for me to dash of to the church to prepare final bits and pieces for our christmas eve service. Im still a little shocked that its Christmas Eve tonight, I swear we are still in august! However I am also extremely excited, jubilant, in awe and wonder and filled with the curiousity of a great mystery.

Christmas has always been exciting for me, as a child it was excitement for the presents I was to receive. Now I am excited to see the reactions to the presents that I have carefully thought out for my loved ones. Nothing gives me greater joy than showing love to the important people in my life, and Christmas is one time of year that gives a licence to decadence; and I flaunted it!

Im jubilant because its christmas and this time of year just makes me so incredibly happy. What this holiday means to the faithful is so incredible and important. How anyone could be sad about what this holiday means is baffling to me. Even those who are alone or cannot give their families the gifts they wish to should still find joy in the fact that we celebrate on this day and tomorrow that holy and divine night where Our Lord God sent his son to save us.

The awe and wonder and curiosity this holiday inspires in me is that of what happened on that night so many many years ago, why it happened, how it happened and that it all happened for me a poor, helpless sinner!

Im like a feeling junky at this time of year, I cant get enough of what it makes me feel like. I pray and hope that all may one day share in this plethera of fantastic feelings I am currently feeling, it is all for us after all.

Merry Christmas to all

my new favourite word

Hallelujah!
Im pretty much in love with this word at the moment. According to dictionary.com Hallelujah has a couple of meanings however the one which I most associate with it is an exclamation of praise or joy. Now so far as things go in my book, an exclamation of praise is always met with joy; praising and worshipping makes me joyful; not merely happy, but deeply content in my soul, mind and heart.

This word reminds me when I am getting weighed down with the pressures, worries, or sadness in the world, that there is a reason and a purpose for my being here, that I need not fear for my life is being commanded by the best leader of all time. When I am reminded of this it is all I can do but shout Hallelujah.

Christmas is certainly a time to be made aware of the grace and guidance of our God. For fucks sake he sent his only child to live amongst us, teach us, love us, and die as a sacrfice for us all!
Christmas marks the time that we were eternally forgiven and considered worthy. I will be proclaiming Hallelujah always, but especially at this time.
We always seem to get caught up with the other aspects of christmas; the hastles of organising family get togethers (agony), determining the best gift, organising christmas eve rehearsals, decorating the house...however what we should think when complaining about all these labourious tasks, is why we do them. We gather with family to celebrate this joyous time, sing Hallelujah and share love and gifts together. We give gifts to show our love and commemorate this precious time of year, we decorate the house to reflect the joy our hearts should be filled with and we rehearse and perform christmas services and events to share that joy with others.

Atleast, that is the mind frame we should have. And as a brilliant song named "Don't save it all for christmas day" states we really shouldnt only do these things at christmas; "don't save it all for christmas day, find a way, to give a little love everyday". We should every day chose to proclaim Hallelujah, share the love and joy and be content, however Christmas is a time to share this with more people and be ever more proclaiming, loving and joyful. Atleast that is what I will endeavour to accomplish!

Peace

finally something to make moby dick worth reading!

So I decided to challenge myself by reading some old classics; I plan on reading The Odyssey, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Les miserables...but I have started with Moby Dick....You want a frustrating, seemingly pointless, politically incorrect, horror...read Moby Dick! At what is likely to be the two month mark I have but 70 pages to go! You cannot believe how glad I am to reach the end of this awful book which preaches the glory of whaling. It is truly grotesque to read about how they used to maim the gentle giants of the ocean for their oil.

However finally today I found some words of wisdom. On page 404 (yes its taken me a whopping two months to get that far!) I discovered this:

"There is no steady unretracing progress in this life; we do not advance through fixed graduations, and at the last one pause;- through infancy's unconscious spell, boyhood's thoughtless faith, adolecence' doubt (the common doom), then scepticism, then disbelief, resting at last in manhood's pondering repose of If. But once gone through, we trace the round again; and are infants, boys, and men, and Ifs eternally. Where lies the final harbour, whence we unmoor no more?"

I really like this; it suggests that through life we go through various stages of faith;
When we were infants we did not believe anything...lets just say we arent capable of such intense thought.
When we were young children we believed whatever we were told without taking any deeper meaning from it. Life was easy then we asked why but didnt really consider the impact.
At adolecence many of us go through the rebelious, questioning stage; nothing is above being considered and rejected. All is doubted. This follows on to a less severe sceptisism but general belief, then a lack of belief followed by healthy wondering and deep consideration of beliefs; why we believe some things and not others.

I truly think that these are stages we go through, and often as is suggested in the book, regress to a previous stage. The events of life no doubt influence our attitudes to belief. When the world is kicking us in the teeth it is easy to be rebelious, disbelieving or sceptical. However when we are on top of the world it is easy to believe freely considering all our reasons for believing.
Just a little food for thought in any case!

God has smiled on me

Ive been thinking a lot lately (suprise suprise) about life; the good, the bad and the superfulous.

The good in life: EVERYTHING! the world, the amazing people in my life, music, sky, sea, animals. There is beauty everywhere, love and joy to be found in the best and most free things in this world.

The bad in life: People! Hate to break it to you, but the only thing wrong with this world is that people live here, we destroy, hate, mock, defame, and belittle each other and the world. Every tragedy boils down to human intervention.

The Superfulous in life: WORRY! Upon pondering the first few chapters of Ecclesiastes, a far more real and beneficial book than Moby Dick suggested, I came across this brilliant saying "grasping at the wind".

We all know that the wind is not tangible. We cant grab it, we can feel it, breathe it, smell scents upon it, even contain it, but grab a tangible hold?? Nope! This saying signifies the superfulous nature of worrying. Worrying does nothing but make one feel sick. Our lives are in the hands of a far greater power than our worrying.

To this end, God has smiled on me, and all of us. We dont need to worry about life because its been crafted into his perfect plan. Huge weight off my mind!

It is difficult to remember how pointless and ridiculous our worrying is; when things go wrong or we are concerned about something it is natural to worry, but it is not necessary.
Nevertheless I know that I am a happier, kinder, and calmer person when Im not worrying about how my life will turn out; Im learning to trust in my maker and know that with his guidance I will be immensely satisfied.

procrastination versus worry

Its often said that the biggest time waster is procrastination. However upon pondering the mysteries of life, it struck me that worry is perhaps a greater waste of time. During procrastination, be it pre-commencing an assignment, making a phone call...whatever laborious task, one is still doing something. Be it sitting on facebook sending out notification love, or watching tv, reading a book...in my case doing dishes or washing (only time I actually have the desire to do so), something is being done.
However, when one worries, one does naught but ponder and consider and worry. As good as a little mental exercise is, worry is detrimental as it can make one sick, come out in sores (cold sores are the bain of my existance) or render on ueseless for any activity bar worry.

Add in the fact that our lives are threads in the great tapestry of life, designed by God, what is the point in worrying? Not that I advocate procrastination either, putting off undesirable tasks does not remove them, merely postpones the inevitable. However one should live life free of worry or doubt, but trust and have faith in our creator, he has known us since he breathed us into existance, no other could guide or plan our lives aswell...I certainly am going to try to worry less.

lyrics

My computer got a virus and nearly died, and has been resurrected by my amazing father. It still is rather sick though; the lack of soundcard recognition really limits the things I can do with it! The greatest issue with my sick computer is that I cant make any new playlists.

I am more than a fan of music; music speaks to people in ways that nothing else can. Music is a passion of mine, it combines words which I love and melodies which course through me like blood through veins. Music can change people.
Anyway as I have no ability to make a new playlist to my satisfaction at present, I have been listening to artists. Some of the albums on my ipod have the most amazing lyrics. I am continually blown away by the realness of Thirsty Merc, Lowrider, Bethany Dillon and Queen, to name a few.

I encourage you to grab your music player of choice and listen to your favourite artists, and really listen to what they are saying to you.

Lyrics can speak to people in a truly unique way. They are inobtrusive, poignant and real. At least the artists I listen to have lyrics has such!

I am leaving you now with something beautiful from Thirsty Merc:

Life is life
Pain and joy are all part of it
Why ask why
Just to be alive is
Such a gift

Pinching ideas from Chelsie Cossens!

Techincally she stole this from someone else; indeed it would be doubtful to have a completely unique idea, however one's spin on any idea is what is unique! Just by the by, one should get into Chelsie's blog, its fresh and lovely and all about uncovering happiness, something which for even the happiest of us can still be hard at times.

Anyway, enough about Chelsie, and more about me :P This is just a seventeen question bio on who I am apparently however if either myself or you are any closer to actually discovering a way through the complicated nature of my psyche at the end of it, I will be astounded!

I am: God only knows! My name is Emma, most call me Em, but others think thats too short a name!

I love: So very much. My sister, my family, my friends, life, the sky, footy, music, getting passionate about something...I could go on!

I like: Chips, popcorn, computer games, driving, movies, reading, talking, being quiet

I have: Tooo much to say about too much

I wish: I dont wish because wishing is pointless, believing and hoping is the only way

I want: To sneak a peek at the future, just to know that Ill be happy and fufilled, then Ill be perfectly happy to just wait till I get there!

I can: Be who I want to be

I cant: Dance

I think: Alll the freaking time

I need: Purpose and passion

I will: Get purpose and passion

I wont: Be somebody Im not, I cant, I wont, I refuse!

I HATE: The way humanity has wrecked so many things; a world with so much seems to be found wanting so much, I dont understand how we cant look around and just be happy with this amazing place! I also HATE people who talk loudly on the phone on the train and ticking or scraping sounds

I tolerate: Nothing

I ignore: Things I should probably tolerate

I always: Annoy myself ha I always realise when I make a mistake and pray to learn and better myself from it

I appreciate: Everything; I am so damn lucky!!!

turning up the positivity

It may come as a shock to some, but I really am a negative person.
I have faith in people and the world and democracy and maintain a positive outlook on life, I dont have the time or the desire to be sad, particularly about things I cannot change.
However, in my observations of people, indeed in my communications with people, I tend to have a sharp tongue quick to point out fault. I genuinely mean to do this out of love to my friends and family, its all about improvement!
However it really does not improve anyone's life to suggest that the lady on the tram yesterday with the red and black hair looked like she had spiders all over her head! I dont know her and thinking those thoughts really only makes ME bitter.

So Ive decided to try and exert a little more positivity, just personally... I wouldnt want to shock anyone! Yesterday amidst the noise and monotony of work I managed to write at least another poem, at most a potential song...who knows what Ill achieve today...It may just be as simple as not rolling my eyes at the nutters in my philosophy tutorial!

hunchback of notre dame

Started watching the Hunchback of Notre Dame today and it struck me that the message it brings is so very important. It is truly evil that people judge and condem those who are not normal; who dont fit the image society believes in. I myself notice these differences...but we really shouldnt react or judge them.

After all we are all children of God.

theory

I have determined why God decided to make me the way I am. I have often wondered why God does make us individually; each a different size or shape, some far smaller than others!!!
When I think about the way I am, my personality and nature...I realised that God had a very good reason for making me small of stature.
I am a particularly opinionated and stubborn and angry and I think if I were tall or of imposing stature, Id be scary. Hence God made me an insignificant size so that people would actually feel comfortable to come talk to me...and learn from my sensational insight :P

So I guess I should really praise God for making me the way he did, and feel secure that there is a logical reason....It also means that I dont have to try to be someone Im not, for the sake of being able to talk to people.

changing

It is amazing how in the space of a week so much can change.
The boy you like one minute, then can't believe you'd consider the next, for that matter the boy you wouldnt consider one minute and then like the next! the top you love one day, then cannot stand the next....how you change from liking to hating peas or orange juice or something...
Human beings are ever adaptable ever changing...it certainly makes it interesting, but also kind of scary, particularly when you consider its usually something great; of an awful or wonderful nature that causes us to change!

Ive changed in the last week; thankfully I can put it down to CLW...I havent had something awful change me! Since then Ive been far happier, stronger in faith and conviction and kinder (though that may be hard to believe) I think this is good...I certainly feel better about being me and life and God and all thats in between....time will tell if its to stay!


Im really excited to see whats gonna happen next now...something's gotta happen soon, I just have to be patient!

Oh and on a related but side topic....I now am re-inlove with Thirsty Merc....amazing!!

life philosophy

they say life is harder the deeper you feel things (they being John Marsden (pharaphrased)) this means two different things:
Sometimes we make our lives harder for ourselves because we sensationalise the trivial. This causes us to stress and agonise over things we really needent. This is bad!

The other way this concept can be described is when you love deeply, fight fiercly and live to make a difference.

I would rather live a life where I am at risk of being hurt to have those moments of deep joy...unless we live with purpose and reason and care we risk missing out on the pure joys of life.

keeping my thoughts out!

I get more distracted by music than anything else...I cant keep a good bass like or some insightful lyrics out!
I have had more luck typing assignments with scrubs playing than music too....I think there is something wrong with me :P
Actually Ive been listening to some great new stuff of late; some christian, some not, but all really insightful. I love listening to how people interpret life through their music and lyrics, some people get it so right, like as if they plucked the random swirling thoughts out of my mind and formulated them into an articulate masterpiece with sick as music to match!

revelation

I thought of something during Reality this evening....when pondering self-security and other topics I realised a crucial point.
One of the hardest things to except in life, is that it isnt really about you, me...oneself.

Its a hard thing to realise because, well being ourselves we cant help but think its about us...however sometimes it really isnt. We are part of something so much more than just us...this world, country, community. And we were made for so much more than just us. Its kind of empowering in its own little way...freeing to know that we are not the be all and end all of us. Remembering that is sometimes a little tricky.
If we could do that we'd certainly save ourselves a lot of heart-ache...we always seem to think about other people in terms of how they make us feel. However if we for once thought about them in terms of the world not ourselves....I think there'd be less problems.

I certainly doubt that we'll ever be able to achieve that however its nice to see if itll happen!
Peace

dwindling ponderings

It seems that of late, my ponderings have dwindled. Many an occassion has come to pass, with me staring at this window, typing nonsense sentences before deleting them ruthlessly. I always have too much to say, but for a time now it has seemed that I havent had anything to blog about.

I went to see what is rapidly becoming my favourite musical tonight. Godspell is a work of genius; it portrays everything that the people of this world need; jesus' teachings in a modern day setting. So many times in life, we get ourselves into a position where all we see is despair...if we could recall some of what Jesus' taught we would be infinitely happier.

The music in it is also rather awesome, it is irritatingly catchy, however as it is full of tips on how to survive and enjoy this world, its alright!

♫Day by day

Day by day

Oh Dear Lord

Three things I pray

To see thee more clearly

Love thee more dearly

Follow thee more nearly

Day by day♪

good stuff there!

Peacem Ill leave you with this gorgeous picture from the Falkland Islands....it is apparently in memory of a guy who led an expedition to antartica....kinda works, I mean as christians we use the cross to remember Jesus who led an expedition to the unknown aswell!

expectations

Of all the detrimental human inventions, expectation is possibly one of the worst. It is expectation that fathers disappointment, angers and saddens us.

it seems the creative juices are flowing again

The Greatest enemy any of us will face,

Is not one who treats us with malice,

Not those who's wish is to destroy or maim,

Nor the injust against whom we proclaim.

The Greatest enemy any of us will face,

Is the one who knows us in every case,

The one who takes control of your mind,

Is the enemy who is least kind.

The Greatest enemy any of us will face,

Was actually given to us by grace,

The mind of one is a great treasure,

But also an enemy of greatest measure.

First poem I've written for a while!

Ill news

My heart drops,
I feel faint
These words bring despair

That sense of falling,
Completely hopeless
You can't stop the fear

A secret desire
About to be
Destroyed forever

Where to go
Forget desire
Pretend not to care

Only God knows
These inner thoughts
Woes never shared

♫♪♫ song to share!! ♫♪♫

So you know how you can hear a song one hundred times, but on that one hundred and first time you really listen and are blown away by the power of it. The song, So in this Hour by Rocket Summer really spoke to me today as I pondered life and became saturated by the inundation of rain we experienced! So now I am sharing this jewel of a song with you all.
Enjoy
Peace x

So long before
You've stood so long
At my door
Abundantly you have asked
Have you received?
Is this everything that you've hoped for?
Is this everything you've dreamed?
Well I'm not sure
if I don't really mean it
Life and history
Repeat and I
Will see visions vividly
Of how everything will end the same
Is this everything that you've hoped for?
Is this everything you've dreamed?
Well I want it to be
if the real point is seen
So in this hour
Everything I do
Will be all for this moment
Everything's for you
My heart is open
And willing
So take it
(Get up, get up, get up)
So much feeling oh my soul is singing
And everybody feels the same
Is this everything that you've hoped for?
Is this everything you've dreamed?
I think it is
if the real point is seen
So in this hour
Everything I do
Will be all for this moment
Everything's for you
My heart is open
And willing
So take it
Stay in place
When there are so Many things to say
I wanna help and not just hesitate
But I just don't
But I just don't
So please take my life And use it
I'm ready
Oh oh, oh oh, ohhh
Oh oh, oh oh, ohhh
Oh oh, oh oh, ohhh
Oh oh, oh oh, ohhh
Oh oh, oh oh, ohhh
Oh oh, oh oh, ohhh

my map has run out!

So Im currently in this funny place. My map for life, namely the education system, is just about to run out of pages, and Im a little scared about what I shall do next year....its an interesting place to be in...because every now and then I remember that I dont know what Im doing next year and have a mini freak out. On the other hand I am happy and content with life so I cannot really be bothered worrying!!

Anyway I really need not worry because the real map for my life will never run out coz it was made at my conception!

Peace x

Jubilant

So Ive drafted about seven point four blogs in the last couple of weeks and never really got to the posting point! That ends today! Ima gonna keep it short and sweet but I just have a couple of things to say.

Firstly reading my book on the train this chilly morning I stumbled upon yet another great quote. Paul Hoffman writes "no one of real intelligence will accept anythng just because some authority declares it to be so, dont accept the truth of anything you have not confirmed for yourself"
I like this because it addresses a key issue in today's society. Too many people take what they hear, from adds or the grapevine as fact, without taking the time to investigate its validity. I for one like to know things for myself, and believe that those who do take the time to investigate will improve overall society, and perhaps improve quality of life!

Finally on a far happier note, a good friend of mine has a favourite word, namely 'jubilant'. Jubilant means showing and expressing triumphant joy. I love this word, and am working toward showing jubilation in everyday, because lets face it, we've been given an incredible blessing in this life!

writers' block

Over the last week or so since I last blogged Ive started about six blogs and published niente! I thought perhaps I had a variation of writers' block, until I realised that considerations is just me publishing my thoughts in an orderly fashion...I certainly havent stopped thinking :P I think perhaps I have been considering my considerations and not posting things that I dont think I should say....very unlike me really!

To that end I have ridded myself of this kind of thinking and am back on track!

I am so incredibly tired....I think I need a break...thankfully CLW is next week and guess who has a week away from everything!! I DO I DO!! to top it off I was lucky enough to be asked to join the band, so baring any throat worries, Ill be given the honour of helping our campers worship. Worship is my favourite thing....so totally pumped!!

Anyway Id best start my dreary work day
peace out
x

intolerable and impatient

This blog is sparked by a hilarious conversation with my father! I was talking to him about my day and mentioned that once I would have included patience as a virtue I possessed, but that now I had very little patience. My father said, verbatun: "I was going to say, I wouldnt have described you as patience, nor are you tolerant. In fact Id go as far as to say that you are impatient and intolerant! Very amusing honesty from my father ... completely true of course!!!

In other news, on monday I bought myself a t-shirt which says "not all who wander are lost". I love this greatly as quite often I wander around, but Im certainly not lost, I have a compass that never fails, and I dont even need to point it north!
Oh and Im currently running on about two and a half hours sleep thanks to watching Eclipse at 12:30 this morning, so tolerance and patience levels are at an all time low!!!

Ciao Ciao

bos and boxes

I had a thought regarding conformity and went to find a picture of a box to make my point. However as can happen when one thinks of seven things at once, I didnt pay full attention to the keyword I searched and typed in 'bos'. "Oh you idiot" I exclaimed out loud, and then saw these gorgeous pictures that came up;

arent they lovely? Random, but nice all the same!!

Anyway back to the boxes idea:

This is a box. Things fit into it. Essentially conformity is fitting oneself into the box society deems they should fit into. I dont like that at all. The people who are the most interesting are those whom discard the box and just be. I certainly do not ever wish to fit into a box. I like to think I possess some form of diversity, or craziness as it may in fact be. But yes, my thought for the day is conformity is putting people in boxes, and I say lets open up the boxes and discard them! After life is an incredibly short event, why waste it fitting into a box....this reminds me of a quote kind of; in TrueBlood, yes I watch that show, but who could resist this;

Anyway, one vampire was talking to another; both of the vampires in question had partnered humans. They were discussing why it was that they partnered humans and one vampire said words to this effect; "For them life is fleeting, every emotion, every joy, every sorrow is intensified as it could be the last"

I love this. Certainly we are going to a better place once our time on earth is done, but Life itself is an incredible gift. Every joy and sorrow should be experienced as if it were the last, the fact that we can have the experiences which create these reactions is a gift in itself. And I, personally, would take life, with all its sorrow and down times, as for every sorrow there is an even greater joy.

woah I need to learn not to jump so randomly from topic to topic. My brain is fried I swear!!

Ciao a tutti

sometimes breathing is hard

when the music fades, all is stripped away
and I simply come
longing just to be something thats of worth....

Everynow and then when the music fades and im alone with my conscious I am aware of my longing to be something that is of worth.
Sometimes it is hard, when what makes me feel worth is stripped away and its just me and me alone. Like everyone else I struggle to feel enough.

wet socks and wonder!

Im having one of those days, where I wake up fufilled, even though i've had six hours sleep the last two nights! Im happy, in wonder and thrilled with life! I love these moments; perhaps Im in a delusional state due to sleep deprivation and extended use of brain power to write pointless essays...who knows, but Im loving my state of mind!

Last night Monique and I caught up, to "chat about CLW songs" how much we chatted about CLW songs, and how much we chatted about anything but is totally besides the point! Im getting rather excited about the camp and I freaking LOVE music and singing...Im not sure on the science of this, but if your vocal cords are muscle, mine are ripped...I cannot stop singing!

Im also nearing the end of The Shack...most amazing book....Im so very tempted to buy another copy and leave it on a train; If I wasnt sure someone would use the pages to roll cigarettes or simply deface something so filled with truth, Id do it....perhaps I will anyway, give myself a little faith in humanity and see if I can make someone's life a little truer.

freaking another amazing quote from the book; "you can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you"- frederick buechner

I absolutely adore this, because the mayhem in my mind is most certainly a place where I carry those I love....totally solidifies the saying "in a world of my own" urgh words cannot express the purity and brilliance of this statement. I pity the person who doesnt have this, coz without our friends and families, and a place of our own to escape to when reality drags us down, would be truly awful, living the joys of dual worlds keeps me, well certainly not sane, but happy for sure!

anyway I need to get ready for work so I shall leave you with this picture, who's quote is particularly delightful: Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will succeed....

thats my problem with uni :P I just dont love it!!!!!

freedom, Freedom, FREEEDOM!!!!!

Hooray!
Uni semester is d o n e! And let me tell you, I'm pretty thrilled! Today I am going to be a domestic lady, lets be honest Im no goddess :P Making delicious (hopefully) Roast Pork for dinner, and banana cake for dessert. I also have the joy of doing washing and attempting to clean my room, one will definitely occur, the other may be discarded for guitar hero or some other frivolous activity! I also must get down to say hi to my grandies!

Im still reading The Shack, the more I read, the more I am convinced that we will never truly grasp the wonder and compassion of God, and that perhaps we arent meant to. The intricacies of the trinity, how they are one and three blows my mind, in the pleasant way when you kinda get it, but are too amazed by it to care that there are some aspects you may never get! Its making me feel a lot calmer too, perhaps my quest for fierce independence and power is unneccessary, letting go and letting God is always a better option, and its becoming one in my mind too!

Well I best be off to start this day of domestics, mmm I feel so blessed right now!

listen up!!

Say what you mean!

Relationships can be hard; especially boy-girl friendships. Certainly it can be awkward if one thinks perhaps this FRIEND of mine thinks of me more romantically than platonically. However, it can also be incredibly anal to presume that this is the case. If one does feel this way, don't bring a third party into the mix; this creates a ridiculous sense of he said she said...which goes NO WHERE and causes ample frustration to all parties. I in particular, an incredibly frustrated person at the best of times, do not appreciate these types of situations; if one is concerned that a situation may be awkward due to not knowing the other party's thoughts, they should ask them directly. If you are as good a friends as you suppose, this should be no problem. If indeed the other party does think this is more than a platonic gathering, they will probably be far too embarrassed to say so, hence resolutely deciding to be platonic and avoiding awkwardness completely. Oh look at that, an adult, reasonable, rational and simple solution that does not result in frustration, hilarity and stupidity!

musing

Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets-


Paul Tournier



Im reading this most fascinating book at present; The Shack. I implore anyone and everyone to read it; the tale of one man's desperate struggle to overcome 'the great sadness' of his life.

This book has certainly provoked a great deal of thought; thanks book, not like I think enough!!

But in anycase, this 'story' has again opened my eyes to more. Its one thing to think yeh no worries, me and God are cool, Im happy, we're happy hooray! However sometimes its when you think that everything is rosey that you realise it isnt.



In other news, had a brilliant chat with one of my best mates last night; even when we are just cranking beatles rock band (devestatingly short) or guitar hero, or discussing oscilation, time spent with her is always beneficial and always makes me smile. Shes certainly not afraid of voicing her opinion, if it oposes mine or not, which I love, not only due to my penchant for arguing, but just coz we're incredibly comfortable with each other and can agree to disagree! or shout 'you're wrong'!!
As I say, the only thing worse than someone with a bad opinion is someone with no opinion, and I wouldnt change her ever!

ho hum and a bottle of rum

Im not entirely sure why it is that Ive decided to start this blog. Certainly I dont expect nor care if people read it, and I probably could just type or write these things down in a personal diary or folder on my computer. Prehaps its the permanency of having it online; the dangerous world wide web, purveyor of cybercrime and social ungraces.
Of late I have felt a little lost. Sometimes I think that Ive got it all wrong and am just drifting along this road. Now there isnt really anything wrong with a little drifting, but I havent the patience for it!
I also hate the word I. Whenever I talk about myself, the I s jump out like little pinpoints of selfishness...I mean come on, I cannot complain about ANYTHING! Ive got family who loves me, friends who care and make every moment of life worth while. And then there is this world in which we live; it is the most beautiful thing. We are incredibly lucky to live in this world, whether or not you believe in divine intervention, its amazing. The only thing wrong with this world is that people keep fucking up, hence wrongness!
Anyway, humans also insist on inspid essays being the standard for which intelligence is determined, and I think it better to save my words for that.
Tata