So the last few weeks Ive been feeling a little unfufilled. Its truly appalling for me to say something like that; I have family that adore and are adored, I have friends whom are never short of whatever I need, be it a laugh, an insult, a hug or a reality check!, I have an income, atleast for the moment and I have passion. Too much passion if that were possible sometimes. I wonder what it is like to not have an extensive opinion 0n something. If I know what something is I have an opinion on it, its instantaneous, and Ill passionately argue my opinion, usually to the fury, amusement or wonder of my 'oponent' in my head, in reality 'converser'. Still I guess to be over-filled with passion is better than to be void of it; I am passionately incensed by those with no passion, to me it is to have no care for life if you have no passion. It would seem I care a shit-load! And yes that is a technical term for quite a significant amount!
So anyway back to the point; Im feeling a little unfufilled. I have just spent the last sixteen years of my life, and Ive nearly clocked up twenty-one years round the sun, should be getting a free trip soon I should think, studying, learning, going to school and doing assignments. I loved, hated, was infuriated, cried and laughed during these sixteen years. Most importantly, particularly during the later years and especially at uni, I developed a purpose. I started to guide some of my untamed passion into a focused area; the juvenile justice system. That is my Everest. It is my goal to work in this area, and make a difference. I feel like the path Ive taken, or been led on, has brought me to this conclusion; my passions fit perfectly with this field. I have so much heart for improving access to justice and trying to help juveniles caught up in the justice system. And now, a brag worthy fact, I have a Bachelor of Justice and Society to prove that Ive got the knowledge to work in this area.
Ill admit I havent flogged my guts out. Ive been lazy, Ive been frustrated with the sheer stupidity of some of the assignments and stupid uni rules relating to them. However each assignment has improved my reasoning and logic and occassionally I learned something new, which is suprising for a know it all like me!
In terms of an analogy it seems like the last twenty-one years of my life have been preparing and training for the great race of life. I trained, I practised and I got ready and steady. Ive been applying for jobs, written countless cover letters, wrote about how amazing I am over and over. Im poised on the track, ready to leap off and run my heart out for God, for his purpose, to fufill his plans, and use my unbridled passion to better the disadvantaged. But for fucks sake they wont shoot the damn gun!
I guess, Ive still got a little more training to go, I certainly dont want a false start. So until then Ill keep doing what Im doing, training and practising for when that gun is finally shot.
And its good to know that many racers before me have been poised at the starting line waiting for the gun. Here once again patience is a virtue, one that I may just possess by the time my gun gets shot!
Peace (hopefully for me too)
Monday, January 17, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Brewing
Ooooh get excited first blog of the new year, 2011. It sounds ridiculous to say that today's date is the second of January 2011....I still maintain it is only august 2010! Ive probably been heard saying that a lot lately, but I really and truly cannot fathom where the last six months of my life has gone! I myself have often said that time is not tangible and you cannot really grasp the concep of it moving along, but I am extremely frustrated at my lack of understanding how we are in January of 2011! That being said there is far too little point to pondering it further as here we are on the second of January 2011 whether I like it and can believe it or not.
Today I am blogging about a few different thoughts that have been brewing for the last few weeks...strike that the last week! In an incredible contradiction to my previous comment I cant believe that christmas was only eight days ago! Firstly, this thought is brand new having only just entered into my mind when experiencing everybody's favourite occasion; a blackout! As I lay on my bed and read the introduction to 'The Orthodox Heretic" to which I cannot wait to sink my teeth into by the by, I was struck by this thought that it is quite possible that the greatest thinkers up to today will never ever be surpassed by future thinkers. One would suppose that with greater technology and knowledge, available at a button press, the world's great minds would become infinitely greater. However my wonderings have led me to believe that perhaps the future will only produce 'good' minds. All this technology is extremely beneficial and extremely distracting! Having information a mouse click away may be brilliant, but COD and sims 3 are only a mouse click away too, and Im embarrassed to say which I select most frequently!
Another brewing thought came from my delightful latest read "Les Mis`erables". Heard of it?? Its a frequently viewed and read text; a social commentary by the brilliant mind of Victor Hugo. I have only read about thirty four pages at this point, distractions and lack of train rides are to blame for this, as it is far more exciting than Moby Dick and only slightly harder to read than The Secret Supper, my last novel completed. Anyway I have already stumbled upon some particularly genius literary comments at this point.
On page 18;
"Man has a body which is at once his burden and his temptation. He drags it along, and yields to it."
and page 25;
"Have no fear of robbers or murderes. Such dangers are without, and are but petty. We should fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murderers. The great dangers are within us. What matters it what threatens our heads or our purses? Let us think only of what threatens our souls"
Its hard to decide what to respond to these words. It is so simple and yet so profound. Our souls are forever begging the pardon of our bodily temptations. And whilst I do think it may be wise to worry for being robbed in this current social climate, it is true that the greatest robber, enemy, assaulter and murderer any of us will meet will be ourselves. We all ruin many an opportunity for knowledge or treasure when we judge and are tempted.
Here is to more moments of the sublime amongst my reading, and perhaps amongst my blogging!
Peace
Today I am blogging about a few different thoughts that have been brewing for the last few weeks...strike that the last week! In an incredible contradiction to my previous comment I cant believe that christmas was only eight days ago! Firstly, this thought is brand new having only just entered into my mind when experiencing everybody's favourite occasion; a blackout! As I lay on my bed and read the introduction to 'The Orthodox Heretic" to which I cannot wait to sink my teeth into by the by, I was struck by this thought that it is quite possible that the greatest thinkers up to today will never ever be surpassed by future thinkers. One would suppose that with greater technology and knowledge, available at a button press, the world's great minds would become infinitely greater. However my wonderings have led me to believe that perhaps the future will only produce 'good' minds. All this technology is extremely beneficial and extremely distracting! Having information a mouse click away may be brilliant, but COD and sims 3 are only a mouse click away too, and Im embarrassed to say which I select most frequently!
Another brewing thought came from my delightful latest read "Les Mis`erables". Heard of it?? Its a frequently viewed and read text; a social commentary by the brilliant mind of Victor Hugo. I have only read about thirty four pages at this point, distractions and lack of train rides are to blame for this, as it is far more exciting than Moby Dick and only slightly harder to read than The Secret Supper, my last novel completed. Anyway I have already stumbled upon some particularly genius literary comments at this point.
On page 18;
"Man has a body which is at once his burden and his temptation. He drags it along, and yields to it."
and page 25;
"Have no fear of robbers or murderes. Such dangers are without, and are but petty. We should fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murderers. The great dangers are within us. What matters it what threatens our heads or our purses? Let us think only of what threatens our souls"
Its hard to decide what to respond to these words. It is so simple and yet so profound. Our souls are forever begging the pardon of our bodily temptations. And whilst I do think it may be wise to worry for being robbed in this current social climate, it is true that the greatest robber, enemy, assaulter and murderer any of us will meet will be ourselves. We all ruin many an opportunity for knowledge or treasure when we judge and are tempted.
Here is to more moments of the sublime amongst my reading, and perhaps amongst my blogging!
Peace
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