Cant really be bothered blogging one of my epics this fine evening, Im tired and its a beautiful night for sleepy ponderings that are absent from a computer's glare or a pen's ink stain. And this beautiful metaphor I hae to share speaks so perfectly for itself, I need not weigh it down with my mutterings and musings.
This metaphor is wonderful in its traditional meaning; it fills one with wonder. From Les Miserables, the genius, Victor Hugo, either by quote or his own work, states this:
"The pupil dilates in the night, and at last finds day in it, even as the soul dilates in misfortune, and at last finds God in it"
Often it is at our weakest and most despondent, when we cry out in anguish over what has befallen us, when our soul is bare and we search for reason, that God comes to us. Yes the tough and sad times are awful, one never wants to go through it, but God is found in the most unbelievable of places.
Our souls seek Him like the pupil seeks the light, and like pupils and the light, our souls need only dilate to the point that God can enter and shine his own light on our situation.
Peace
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
READY, STEADY...................................arent they supposed to say GO at some point?
So the last few weeks Ive been feeling a little unfufilled. Its truly appalling for me to say something like that; I have family that adore and are adored, I have friends whom are never short of whatever I need, be it a laugh, an insult, a hug or a reality check!, I have an income, atleast for the moment and I have passion. Too much passion if that were possible sometimes. I wonder what it is like to not have an extensive opinion 0n something. If I know what something is I have an opinion on it, its instantaneous, and Ill passionately argue my opinion, usually to the fury, amusement or wonder of my 'oponent' in my head, in reality 'converser'. Still I guess to be over-filled with passion is better than to be void of it; I am passionately incensed by those with no passion, to me it is to have no care for life if you have no passion. It would seem I care a shit-load! And yes that is a technical term for quite a significant amount!
So anyway back to the point; Im feeling a little unfufilled. I have just spent the last sixteen years of my life, and Ive nearly clocked up twenty-one years round the sun, should be getting a free trip soon I should think, studying, learning, going to school and doing assignments. I loved, hated, was infuriated, cried and laughed during these sixteen years. Most importantly, particularly during the later years and especially at uni, I developed a purpose. I started to guide some of my untamed passion into a focused area; the juvenile justice system. That is my Everest. It is my goal to work in this area, and make a difference. I feel like the path Ive taken, or been led on, has brought me to this conclusion; my passions fit perfectly with this field. I have so much heart for improving access to justice and trying to help juveniles caught up in the justice system. And now, a brag worthy fact, I have a Bachelor of Justice and Society to prove that Ive got the knowledge to work in this area.
Ill admit I havent flogged my guts out. Ive been lazy, Ive been frustrated with the sheer stupidity of some of the assignments and stupid uni rules relating to them. However each assignment has improved my reasoning and logic and occassionally I learned something new, which is suprising for a know it all like me!
In terms of an analogy it seems like the last twenty-one years of my life have been preparing and training for the great race of life. I trained, I practised and I got ready and steady. Ive been applying for jobs, written countless cover letters, wrote about how amazing I am over and over. Im poised on the track, ready to leap off and run my heart out for God, for his purpose, to fufill his plans, and use my unbridled passion to better the disadvantaged. But for fucks sake they wont shoot the damn gun!
I guess, Ive still got a little more training to go, I certainly dont want a false start. So until then Ill keep doing what Im doing, training and practising for when that gun is finally shot.
And its good to know that many racers before me have been poised at the starting line waiting for the gun. Here once again patience is a virtue, one that I may just possess by the time my gun gets shot!
Peace (hopefully for me too)
So anyway back to the point; Im feeling a little unfufilled. I have just spent the last sixteen years of my life, and Ive nearly clocked up twenty-one years round the sun, should be getting a free trip soon I should think, studying, learning, going to school and doing assignments. I loved, hated, was infuriated, cried and laughed during these sixteen years. Most importantly, particularly during the later years and especially at uni, I developed a purpose. I started to guide some of my untamed passion into a focused area; the juvenile justice system. That is my Everest. It is my goal to work in this area, and make a difference. I feel like the path Ive taken, or been led on, has brought me to this conclusion; my passions fit perfectly with this field. I have so much heart for improving access to justice and trying to help juveniles caught up in the justice system. And now, a brag worthy fact, I have a Bachelor of Justice and Society to prove that Ive got the knowledge to work in this area.
Ill admit I havent flogged my guts out. Ive been lazy, Ive been frustrated with the sheer stupidity of some of the assignments and stupid uni rules relating to them. However each assignment has improved my reasoning and logic and occassionally I learned something new, which is suprising for a know it all like me!
In terms of an analogy it seems like the last twenty-one years of my life have been preparing and training for the great race of life. I trained, I practised and I got ready and steady. Ive been applying for jobs, written countless cover letters, wrote about how amazing I am over and over. Im poised on the track, ready to leap off and run my heart out for God, for his purpose, to fufill his plans, and use my unbridled passion to better the disadvantaged. But for fucks sake they wont shoot the damn gun!
I guess, Ive still got a little more training to go, I certainly dont want a false start. So until then Ill keep doing what Im doing, training and practising for when that gun is finally shot.
And its good to know that many racers before me have been poised at the starting line waiting for the gun. Here once again patience is a virtue, one that I may just possess by the time my gun gets shot!
Peace (hopefully for me too)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Brewing
Ooooh get excited first blog of the new year, 2011. It sounds ridiculous to say that today's date is the second of January 2011....I still maintain it is only august 2010! Ive probably been heard saying that a lot lately, but I really and truly cannot fathom where the last six months of my life has gone! I myself have often said that time is not tangible and you cannot really grasp the concep of it moving along, but I am extremely frustrated at my lack of understanding how we are in January of 2011! That being said there is far too little point to pondering it further as here we are on the second of January 2011 whether I like it and can believe it or not.
Today I am blogging about a few different thoughts that have been brewing for the last few weeks...strike that the last week! In an incredible contradiction to my previous comment I cant believe that christmas was only eight days ago! Firstly, this thought is brand new having only just entered into my mind when experiencing everybody's favourite occasion; a blackout! As I lay on my bed and read the introduction to 'The Orthodox Heretic" to which I cannot wait to sink my teeth into by the by, I was struck by this thought that it is quite possible that the greatest thinkers up to today will never ever be surpassed by future thinkers. One would suppose that with greater technology and knowledge, available at a button press, the world's great minds would become infinitely greater. However my wonderings have led me to believe that perhaps the future will only produce 'good' minds. All this technology is extremely beneficial and extremely distracting! Having information a mouse click away may be brilliant, but COD and sims 3 are only a mouse click away too, and Im embarrassed to say which I select most frequently!
Another brewing thought came from my delightful latest read "Les Mis`erables". Heard of it?? Its a frequently viewed and read text; a social commentary by the brilliant mind of Victor Hugo. I have only read about thirty four pages at this point, distractions and lack of train rides are to blame for this, as it is far more exciting than Moby Dick and only slightly harder to read than The Secret Supper, my last novel completed. Anyway I have already stumbled upon some particularly genius literary comments at this point.
On page 18;
"Man has a body which is at once his burden and his temptation. He drags it along, and yields to it."
and page 25;
"Have no fear of robbers or murderes. Such dangers are without, and are but petty. We should fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murderers. The great dangers are within us. What matters it what threatens our heads or our purses? Let us think only of what threatens our souls"
Its hard to decide what to respond to these words. It is so simple and yet so profound. Our souls are forever begging the pardon of our bodily temptations. And whilst I do think it may be wise to worry for being robbed in this current social climate, it is true that the greatest robber, enemy, assaulter and murderer any of us will meet will be ourselves. We all ruin many an opportunity for knowledge or treasure when we judge and are tempted.
Here is to more moments of the sublime amongst my reading, and perhaps amongst my blogging!
Peace
Today I am blogging about a few different thoughts that have been brewing for the last few weeks...strike that the last week! In an incredible contradiction to my previous comment I cant believe that christmas was only eight days ago! Firstly, this thought is brand new having only just entered into my mind when experiencing everybody's favourite occasion; a blackout! As I lay on my bed and read the introduction to 'The Orthodox Heretic" to which I cannot wait to sink my teeth into by the by, I was struck by this thought that it is quite possible that the greatest thinkers up to today will never ever be surpassed by future thinkers. One would suppose that with greater technology and knowledge, available at a button press, the world's great minds would become infinitely greater. However my wonderings have led me to believe that perhaps the future will only produce 'good' minds. All this technology is extremely beneficial and extremely distracting! Having information a mouse click away may be brilliant, but COD and sims 3 are only a mouse click away too, and Im embarrassed to say which I select most frequently!
Another brewing thought came from my delightful latest read "Les Mis`erables". Heard of it?? Its a frequently viewed and read text; a social commentary by the brilliant mind of Victor Hugo. I have only read about thirty four pages at this point, distractions and lack of train rides are to blame for this, as it is far more exciting than Moby Dick and only slightly harder to read than The Secret Supper, my last novel completed. Anyway I have already stumbled upon some particularly genius literary comments at this point.
On page 18;
"Man has a body which is at once his burden and his temptation. He drags it along, and yields to it."
and page 25;
"Have no fear of robbers or murderes. Such dangers are without, and are but petty. We should fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murderers. The great dangers are within us. What matters it what threatens our heads or our purses? Let us think only of what threatens our souls"
Its hard to decide what to respond to these words. It is so simple and yet so profound. Our souls are forever begging the pardon of our bodily temptations. And whilst I do think it may be wise to worry for being robbed in this current social climate, it is true that the greatest robber, enemy, assaulter and murderer any of us will meet will be ourselves. We all ruin many an opportunity for knowledge or treasure when we judge and are tempted.
Here is to more moments of the sublime amongst my reading, and perhaps amongst my blogging!
Peace
Thursday, December 23, 2010
tis the season
I feel sorry for the people who dont feel the way I do today. Its nearly time for me to dash of to the church to prepare final bits and pieces for our christmas eve service. Im still a little shocked that its Christmas Eve tonight, I swear we are still in august! However I am also extremely excited, jubilant, in awe and wonder and filled with the curiousity of a great mystery.
Christmas has always been exciting for me, as a child it was excitement for the presents I was to receive. Now I am excited to see the reactions to the presents that I have carefully thought out for my loved ones. Nothing gives me greater joy than showing love to the important people in my life, and Christmas is one time of year that gives a licence to decadence; and I flaunted it!
Im jubilant because its christmas and this time of year just makes me so incredibly happy. What this holiday means to the faithful is so incredible and important. How anyone could be sad about what this holiday means is baffling to me. Even those who are alone or cannot give their families the gifts they wish to should still find joy in the fact that we celebrate on this day and tomorrow that holy and divine night where Our Lord God sent his son to save us.
The awe and wonder and curiosity this holiday inspires in me is that of what happened on that night so many many years ago, why it happened, how it happened and that it all happened for me a poor, helpless sinner!
Im like a feeling junky at this time of year, I cant get enough of what it makes me feel like. I pray and hope that all may one day share in this plethera of fantastic feelings I am currently feeling, it is all for us after all.
Merry Christmas to all
Christmas has always been exciting for me, as a child it was excitement for the presents I was to receive. Now I am excited to see the reactions to the presents that I have carefully thought out for my loved ones. Nothing gives me greater joy than showing love to the important people in my life, and Christmas is one time of year that gives a licence to decadence; and I flaunted it!
Im jubilant because its christmas and this time of year just makes me so incredibly happy. What this holiday means to the faithful is so incredible and important. How anyone could be sad about what this holiday means is baffling to me. Even those who are alone or cannot give their families the gifts they wish to should still find joy in the fact that we celebrate on this day and tomorrow that holy and divine night where Our Lord God sent his son to save us.
The awe and wonder and curiosity this holiday inspires in me is that of what happened on that night so many many years ago, why it happened, how it happened and that it all happened for me a poor, helpless sinner!
Im like a feeling junky at this time of year, I cant get enough of what it makes me feel like. I pray and hope that all may one day share in this plethera of fantastic feelings I am currently feeling, it is all for us after all.
Merry Christmas to all
Sunday, December 12, 2010
my new favourite word
Hallelujah!
Im pretty much in love with this word at the moment. According to dictionary.com Hallelujah has a couple of meanings however the one which I most associate with it is an exclamation of praise or joy. Now so far as things go in my book, an exclamation of praise is always met with joy; praising and worshipping makes me joyful; not merely happy, but deeply content in my soul, mind and heart.
This word reminds me when I am getting weighed down with the pressures, worries, or sadness in the world, that there is a reason and a purpose for my being here, that I need not fear for my life is being commanded by the best leader of all time. When I am reminded of this it is all I can do but shout Hallelujah.
Christmas is certainly a time to be made aware of the grace and guidance of our God. For fucks sake he sent his only child to live amongst us, teach us, love us, and die as a sacrfice for us all!
Christmas marks the time that we were eternally forgiven and considered worthy. I will be proclaiming Hallelujah always, but especially at this time.
We always seem to get caught up with the other aspects of christmas; the hastles of organising family get togethers (agony), determining the best gift, organising christmas eve rehearsals, decorating the house...however what we should think when complaining about all these labourious tasks, is why we do them. We gather with family to celebrate this joyous time, sing Hallelujah and share love and gifts together. We give gifts to show our love and commemorate this precious time of year, we decorate the house to reflect the joy our hearts should be filled with and we rehearse and perform christmas services and events to share that joy with others.
Atleast, that is the mind frame we should have. And as a brilliant song named "Don't save it all for christmas day" states we really shouldnt only do these things at christmas; "don't save it all for christmas day, find a way, to give a little love everyday". We should every day chose to proclaim Hallelujah, share the love and joy and be content, however Christmas is a time to share this with more people and be ever more proclaiming, loving and joyful. Atleast that is what I will endeavour to accomplish!
Peace
Im pretty much in love with this word at the moment. According to dictionary.com Hallelujah has a couple of meanings however the one which I most associate with it is an exclamation of praise or joy. Now so far as things go in my book, an exclamation of praise is always met with joy; praising and worshipping makes me joyful; not merely happy, but deeply content in my soul, mind and heart.
This word reminds me when I am getting weighed down with the pressures, worries, or sadness in the world, that there is a reason and a purpose for my being here, that I need not fear for my life is being commanded by the best leader of all time. When I am reminded of this it is all I can do but shout Hallelujah.
Christmas is certainly a time to be made aware of the grace and guidance of our God. For fucks sake he sent his only child to live amongst us, teach us, love us, and die as a sacrfice for us all!
Christmas marks the time that we were eternally forgiven and considered worthy. I will be proclaiming Hallelujah always, but especially at this time.
We always seem to get caught up with the other aspects of christmas; the hastles of organising family get togethers (agony), determining the best gift, organising christmas eve rehearsals, decorating the house...however what we should think when complaining about all these labourious tasks, is why we do them. We gather with family to celebrate this joyous time, sing Hallelujah and share love and gifts together. We give gifts to show our love and commemorate this precious time of year, we decorate the house to reflect the joy our hearts should be filled with and we rehearse and perform christmas services and events to share that joy with others.
Atleast, that is the mind frame we should have. And as a brilliant song named "Don't save it all for christmas day" states we really shouldnt only do these things at christmas; "don't save it all for christmas day, find a way, to give a little love everyday". We should every day chose to proclaim Hallelujah, share the love and joy and be content, however Christmas is a time to share this with more people and be ever more proclaiming, loving and joyful. Atleast that is what I will endeavour to accomplish!
Peace
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
finally something to make moby dick worth reading!
So I decided to challenge myself by reading some old classics; I plan on reading The Odyssey, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Les miserables...but I have started with Moby Dick....You want a frustrating, seemingly pointless, politically incorrect, horror...read Moby Dick! At what is likely to be the two month mark I have but 70 pages to go! You cannot believe how glad I am to reach the end of this awful book which preaches the glory of whaling. It is truly grotesque to read about how they used to maim the gentle giants of the ocean for their oil.
However finally today I found some words of wisdom. On page 404 (yes its taken me a whopping two months to get that far!) I discovered this:
"There is no steady unretracing progress in this life; we do not advance through fixed graduations, and at the last one pause;- through infancy's unconscious spell, boyhood's thoughtless faith, adolecence' doubt (the common doom), then scepticism, then disbelief, resting at last in manhood's pondering repose of If. But once gone through, we trace the round again; and are infants, boys, and men, and Ifs eternally. Where lies the final harbour, whence we unmoor no more?"
I really like this; it suggests that through life we go through various stages of faith;
When we were infants we did not believe anything...lets just say we arent capable of such intense thought.
When we were young children we believed whatever we were told without taking any deeper meaning from it. Life was easy then we asked why but didnt really consider the impact.
At adolecence many of us go through the rebelious, questioning stage; nothing is above being considered and rejected. All is doubted. This follows on to a less severe sceptisism but general belief, then a lack of belief followed by healthy wondering and deep consideration of beliefs; why we believe some things and not others.
I truly think that these are stages we go through, and often as is suggested in the book, regress to a previous stage. The events of life no doubt influence our attitudes to belief. When the world is kicking us in the teeth it is easy to be rebelious, disbelieving or sceptical. However when we are on top of the world it is easy to believe freely considering all our reasons for believing.
Just a little food for thought in any case!
However finally today I found some words of wisdom. On page 404 (yes its taken me a whopping two months to get that far!) I discovered this:
"There is no steady unretracing progress in this life; we do not advance through fixed graduations, and at the last one pause;- through infancy's unconscious spell, boyhood's thoughtless faith, adolecence' doubt (the common doom), then scepticism, then disbelief, resting at last in manhood's pondering repose of If. But once gone through, we trace the round again; and are infants, boys, and men, and Ifs eternally. Where lies the final harbour, whence we unmoor no more?"
I really like this; it suggests that through life we go through various stages of faith;
When we were infants we did not believe anything...lets just say we arent capable of such intense thought.
When we were young children we believed whatever we were told without taking any deeper meaning from it. Life was easy then we asked why but didnt really consider the impact.
At adolecence many of us go through the rebelious, questioning stage; nothing is above being considered and rejected. All is doubted. This follows on to a less severe sceptisism but general belief, then a lack of belief followed by healthy wondering and deep consideration of beliefs; why we believe some things and not others.
I truly think that these are stages we go through, and often as is suggested in the book, regress to a previous stage. The events of life no doubt influence our attitudes to belief. When the world is kicking us in the teeth it is easy to be rebelious, disbelieving or sceptical. However when we are on top of the world it is easy to believe freely considering all our reasons for believing.
Just a little food for thought in any case!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
God has smiled on me
Ive been thinking a lot lately (suprise suprise) about life; the good, the bad and the superfulous.
The good in life: EVERYTHING! the world, the amazing people in my life, music, sky, sea, animals. There is beauty everywhere, love and joy to be found in the best and most free things in this world.
The bad in life: People! Hate to break it to you, but the only thing wrong with this world is that people live here, we destroy, hate, mock, defame, and belittle each other and the world. Every tragedy boils down to human intervention.
The Superfulous in life: WORRY! Upon pondering the first few chapters of Ecclesiastes, a far more real and beneficial book than Moby Dick suggested, I came across this brilliant saying "grasping at the wind".
We all know that the wind is not tangible. We cant grab it, we can feel it, breathe it, smell scents upon it, even contain it, but grab a tangible hold?? Nope! This saying signifies the superfulous nature of worrying. Worrying does nothing but make one feel sick. Our lives are in the hands of a far greater power than our worrying.
To this end, God has smiled on me, and all of us. We dont need to worry about life because its been crafted into his perfect plan. Huge weight off my mind!
It is difficult to remember how pointless and ridiculous our worrying is; when things go wrong or we are concerned about something it is natural to worry, but it is not necessary.
Nevertheless I know that I am a happier, kinder, and calmer person when Im not worrying about how my life will turn out; Im learning to trust in my maker and know that with his guidance I will be immensely satisfied.
The good in life: EVERYTHING! the world, the amazing people in my life, music, sky, sea, animals. There is beauty everywhere, love and joy to be found in the best and most free things in this world.
The bad in life: People! Hate to break it to you, but the only thing wrong with this world is that people live here, we destroy, hate, mock, defame, and belittle each other and the world. Every tragedy boils down to human intervention.
The Superfulous in life: WORRY! Upon pondering the first few chapters of Ecclesiastes, a far more real and beneficial book than Moby Dick suggested, I came across this brilliant saying "grasping at the wind".
We all know that the wind is not tangible. We cant grab it, we can feel it, breathe it, smell scents upon it, even contain it, but grab a tangible hold?? Nope! This saying signifies the superfulous nature of worrying. Worrying does nothing but make one feel sick. Our lives are in the hands of a far greater power than our worrying.
To this end, God has smiled on me, and all of us. We dont need to worry about life because its been crafted into his perfect plan. Huge weight off my mind!
It is difficult to remember how pointless and ridiculous our worrying is; when things go wrong or we are concerned about something it is natural to worry, but it is not necessary.
Nevertheless I know that I am a happier, kinder, and calmer person when Im not worrying about how my life will turn out; Im learning to trust in my maker and know that with his guidance I will be immensely satisfied.
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